William David Lee, ESQ.

You know, I've always wanted a job where I could apply the rules of professional wrestling. Sadly, whacking people in the head with steel chairs is frowned upon in the office.

From HotJobs:

REFEREE, PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING REFEREE: Responsible for refereeing wrestling matches, providing guidance, direction and feedback to wrestlers and management team. Responsible for maintaining high level of spectator enthusiasm by insuring flowing continuity of wrestling matches. Interprets and applies rules of professional wrestling matches. Four years experience required. Please send resume to WWE, Inc. c/o Ed Kaufman, 1241 East Main Street, Stamford, CT 06902.

Requirements:

Must be easily distracted by managers, valets, other wrestlers, loud noises and/or bright, shiny things.

Have the ability to be rendered unconscious by the slightest touch.

Have the ability to be revived without any significant brain damage despite being rendered unconscious for at least 5 to 6 minutes.

Must be prepared for constant chants of "You screwed Bret!"

No attention to detail is required.

Visually impaired a plus!

Rumor has it those wacky promos are heralding the return of Chris Jericho tonight or the following night on Raw. In preparation, I present to you the Top 5 Jericho Moments...

( C'MON BABY! )

Here it is. Best viewed with a resolution of 1280 or higher.

( Read on )

All right, I'm doing a review of TNA's biggest PPV of the year, Bound For Glory, while taking a few jabs at their retarded booking. Ah, TNA, you have provided so many great moments in wrestling history. Two guys dressed like roided up penises, a midget beating off inside a garbage can, Ken Shamrock's sideburns, and whatever baffling reasons that went into the constant hiring of Vince Russo. To remember these brilliant memories is like having my balls crushed in a vice while white hot pokers are jammed up my ass.

But, first a little preview as I review two recent TNA matches that they pulled a WCW on. As in, they were awesome, but meant nothing and weren't mentioned again after the initial broadcast.

( Read On )

Back again, this time we take a look at the current independent wrestling scene with SHIMMER. The company is run by Dave Prazak, a manager & promoter with Ring of Honor and IWA-Midsouth, and Allison Danger as a spotlight for women's wrestling as more than T&A. It's refreshing to see a different style than what's usually done in WWE or TNA. If you're inclined to do so, you can order the DVDs from Highspots or Ring of Honor. Best Buy also carries some of the earlier volumes.



We start with Volume 1...



( On to the review )

I'm trying out some more new content here on the ol' blog. Just trying to keep up the variety from my usual inane ramblings. The comic book and movie columns will return (honest!) and I'll do a few more Toyboxes this month. But, I've decided we need some more wrestling here. Before I hear any crap from you, let me say two things. One, it's my blog. Two, how would you feel if you were sitting in a movie theater and some jackass kept screaming, "It's fake!", throughout the whole film? Just shut up and let me enjoy it.

Sometimes if somebody who isn't into wrestling wants to know why I like it, I'll try to bust out a crazy Hardy Boyz ladder match or some early Rey Mysterio stuff. I'll discuss wrestling as seriously as I would comic books or film. I'm not ashamed. Then, Vince McMahon gets "killed" in an exploding limo and I have to go back to being embarassed about it.

Anyways, let's take a short trip in the wayback machine to last August. Back when WWE's new version of ECW didn't totally suck. Back when it only kinda sucked.

( Read On )